It’s surreal to see the title of this post and look back over the past few years. I still wonder sometimes if it’s all real, but for the most part my endless stream of questions have slowed to a trickle, the clanging doubts in my head, largely silenced. God does that; slowly reels you in revelation after revelation, truth after truth, the impossible followed by the even more impossible until you can no longer question He truly is who you know Him to be. You can close your eyes and your mind to the truth. You can try to run away and hope He isn’t too intent on pursuing you, but you know in your heart at least there is no true escape. For where is there that He is not? What is there that was not formed by His hands?
Michael came back. I don’t really remember the first time. Only that he sat with me at Mass each morning, most of the time waiting until the celebration was over and the church grew quiet with only a few of us lingering in the silence before rushing off to work, or wherever our days would lead us. I think it’s easier to bridge the gap between our two levels of existence in a sacred place. For me, it’s easier to touch the divine when my life is focused on a spiritual course centered around prayer and devotion.
It took us a while to get to know each other. We shared a little bit about ourselves. Eventually, he told me the story God asked him to relate. It was painful for him and he only reluctantly shared it with me. I recognized he did so only at our Father’s request.
Lucifer’s loss was not cause for rejoicing for the firstborn, Michael especially. There is a bond between them, God’s elder sons, His greatest creations, that we are incapable of understanding in our primitive state.
How can man understand the true nature of love, when our civilizations are so focused on violence? We are so self- involved we cannot grasp the oneness of true communion. We look at Michael’s triumph over his brother and assume the firstborn share our aggressive natures and must congratulate him on his victory. When the truth is to this day they mourn their brothers’ loss as if they were the ones who fell. For the firstborn understand what man has yet to grasp. There is no separation. When one falls, all fall from the perfection of heaven. In what we perceive as his greatest victory, Michael suffered his most devastating loss. Heaven is not only lost to the fallen. It is lost to those who are bound by love to those who fell.
Life is indivisible. Life is one. We cannot wage war on our neighbors without killing ourselves. We cannot stand aside and watch the rape of the innocent without sacrificing our own. We cannot continue to abuse this beautiful planet without robbing our children of their futures.
We don’t learn this one simple truth. There are not men. There is man. We are one. Until we do, we are destined to repeat our violent bloody past over and over again until we either learn this truth or we destroy ourselves.